totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
