Say something about gay babies.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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