K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
