tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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