Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
do herpes really smell.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm like, not good at living.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
