the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
