"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We were destined to go to rehab together
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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