i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
