Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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