your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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