hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
