He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
