btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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