Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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