This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
ok first of all what the fuck
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
