Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
