There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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