I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
