I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
