This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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