The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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