Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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