I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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