i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
