I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
