how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
