when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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