There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
