just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
