Having a random hookup so left but love u
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
