Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
