Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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