That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
