We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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