my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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