How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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