You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
