Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
