I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
wow bdsm is so cute
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