Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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