so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
