is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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