Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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