It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
