ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
