didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Please don't give away my fajitas
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
