Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
