You just made me feel so damn special
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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