Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
