So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
